Unknown Emotions
by DisturbedBunny
Summary: All of the KH guys are living together and need jobs. Riku, unfortunately, must work in a sock factory or Sephiroth will feed him to the Robinson family!! And..Ansem has begun to worship a mysterious bunny as Riku gets attacked by squirrels.
1. Prologue

This should be a funny fic.. I dont usually do humor..but I'll give it a whirl. Anywho..this is a KH fanfic(keyword..fan..)..a very humerous one at that...heh..what would happen if all of em lived with each other in the future and all had jobs...Ansem being a gameshow host? Hehe..we shall find out soon,earthling. The words in italics are Riku's thoughts...e.e;  
  
Unknown Emotion   
prologue  
  
Riku silently walks down a street and notices his stomach growling. "Argghh..guess I should eat something..I can always find a job in an hour or two..its grub time!! cha chooww!" ((dun ask..))   
Where should I go, 'Burger Dan's' ? Naw... 'Francois de Boom'? Too fancy.. 'Mr.Foo Foo's Diner'? That's just the place! heheee I'll get a foofoo burger! oh yea!  
Riku begins to shuffle down the street towards 'Mr.Foo Foo's Diner' and he sees a peculiar ad on a tree. "Hmm..workers are wanted at the sock factory.." Riku writes down the phone number on the ad and walks into the diner.   
  
A large group of strange-looking people, most bearing swords, all cheer happily and wave to Riku. "Hey Fluffy! Over here," yells an unknown voice. Riku growls and sits by them as they begin to braid his hair. "STOOPPPP THATT! AND DON'T CALL ME FLUFFY," screams Riku, rather enraged.  
  
"Hey c'mon Fluffy-wuffy," laughs Cloud, who sits nearest to Riku; "Your hair ish just soo...help me out here, guys." Squall folds his arms and grins as he giggles and says, "would fluffy be the word you're lookin' for, Cloud?" Cloud jumps in the air and giggles,"YEA! FLUFFY!" Riku moans and looks around, "where's Sora and Sephiroth?"   
Ansem, who has been deeply contained in a ' want ad ' shouts out, "YERSH,BABY,YESSSS! MWAHA!"  
The entire population of the restaurant begin to stare at Ansem. Squall sighs and pulls out his gunblade, waving it around. "Nothin ta see 'ere, folks...just a psychotic maniac that..uhh.." He grins, "nobody move..we have da place surrounded! MWAHAHAHAH!" Riku's eyes widen as he sees Cloud join in with the laughing. I am surrounded by idiots.  
Squall laughs and looks at his watch. "Sorry you kind people, but I have to depart..I promise I will spare your lives..because I have to go to work now..." Squall leaves the restaurant and all the people scream. Good lord..and to think..HE is a therapist..for people with mental problems..wonder how he got his job..heck..who would LET him have that job? o_o   
  
Cloud sways and looks to the waiters. "Hey Sheppie! Ova here ya fat noodle!! Let Riku see your dress!" Sephiroth slowly walks toward Riku..in an apron..yes..an apron.. Good mother of God... Riku looks at 'Sheppie' and blinks. "What the heck happened to YOU," says the nearly-laughing Riku. "I always knew that you wore dresses..but in public??" Cloud begins to chuckle at Riku's comment, not yet noticing the look of rage on Sephiroth's face as he growls the words, "Riku...I will have your head on a platter and serve it on a plate to the Robinsons!!" Riku tilts his head, "the Robinsons?"   
Sephiroth points to a large family of mimes and clowns."yes. The Robinsons." Cloud howls with laughter and falls off of his seat. Dear god...O.O Riku screams in horror and bows to Sephiroth. "Forgive me o' great one..I will do whatever you wish!!!!" Sephiroth looks rather amused by all of this and looks down at Riku, "Fine..I will spare you becoming a human balloon inside an invisible box..if you get a job.   
Riku blinks and smiles, "I found a want-ad for the sock factory!" Everyone seems to blink in awe, as Ansem destroys the silence with his idiocy. "I AM GONNA WORK FOR A TV SHOW,"gasps the over-hyper Ansem, now blushing with happiness.  
"Good for you," mutters Cloud, rather jealous of Ansem's find (cloud hash no job). Sora walks inside of the diner and looks at Ansem, "hey..did any of you lose a stuffed rabbit?" They all wave to Sora, and begin to stare at eachother. Ansem snatches the toy from Sora's grasp and begins to stroke it. "massssterr...maassterrrr," are the words said by Ansem, in a rather possesed-ike voice.  
Alll the guys shrug and stare at each other, while Riku gets the courage to poke Ansem. Ansem hisses at Riku and slithers under the table..still stroking the rabbit. Riku, Cloud, and Sephiroth all glare at Sora. Sora blinks, "hey..It isn't my fault..how was i supposed to know the rabbit was evil?" They all raise their brows and rub their chins, "a likely story..."   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ next day.  
  
Riku gets out of bed and stares at the TV, which just turned on by itself. weird... Suddenly a shower of fruit plummets through his window and hitsRiku square in the face. ow...stupid squirrels..up to their no good schemes.. Riku gets a box of bottle rockets and stares at the tree outside his window. "One more time lil' squirrleys..just one more time and ur tree DIES!" Riku, satisfied that he scared the squirrels, sets the box down just as a shower of nuts pelt him in the head and arm.   
  
"YOU NO GOOD WRETCHED SONS OF A BIRCH TREE! (get it..birch tree..birch bark..-silence- heh..) I'LL TEAR YOUR LIVERS OUT WITH MY OWN HANDS!" Riku leaps from his tree, only to fall on his face. Riku begins to blush at his stupidity and looks at the ground, picking up a blade of grass. "There it is! My lost blade of grass! I lost it.. thats why i jumped out of my window..to retrieve it!  
  
You like? I think its rather funny! -laughs- well..I would like reviews..criticism..comments..whatever..but I wonder..will Riku work in the sock factory? And...why the heck is SQUALL a mental therapist? o_o It's the squirrels..they did it. they did it ALL kill them..we will watch an episode of Ansem's tv show..o.o ^^ 


	2. The Squirrels that Kill

argh..apparently the italics didnt appear..but oh well..i'll put italics in thish time! ANywho..i have 3 reviews! holy hamster fry...THREE! thank you all..and i fear da gnomes..o.o ^-^ well..this ish my KH FAN fic...chappie 2.^^ Enjoy!  
  
Chappie 2. The squirrels that kill  
  
Squall and Cloud break into Riku's room and stuff him in a bag..a large bag..what else could contain Riku?   
  
Riku struggles to get free, "hey! Lemme goooo!" Cloud and Squall grin and carry..the bag..towards a rather large building, entitled "Ansem's GameShow".[dun dun dun]  
  
~~~ Inside the building   
Riku gets dumped out of the bag into a chair behind a podium..that looks rather like one from Jeopardy. Near Riku, on similar..err..stations are Cloud, Squall, Sora, and Sephiroth. Sephiroth cackles insanely and puts a 'loser sign' on Sora's head, "You are SOO gonna lose, small fry!"  
  
Sora's eye begins to twitch as he looks at Seppie with reddish glowy eyes, "get...your hand..off..." Sephy blinks and switches places with Squall, "Sora scares meee..."  
  
As Sephy looks at Sora cautiously every two minutes, Ansem comes out on stage..holding the bunny from yesterday.  
  
All of the guys scream and hollar, "NOOOO! GET IT AWAY!!!!" Ansem huggles the bunny preotectively and mutters, "his name is Mr.Pookie.."  
  
The camera 'guy' glares at Ansem, "We're on in 5.." Ansem blinks, "5 minutes..?" The camera yells, "no...five SECONDS!" Ansem hisses and gets backstage as the weird music starts.  
  
"AND HEEERRREEEEEE'S ANNSEEMM!" [Space Jammish music..that do do do do do do do..whatever...e.e;] Ansem runs out to the stage..still holding his possessed stuffed rabbit..as he puts the microphone to his lips.  
  
"Now..welcome folks! We have a special episode today..the Robinsons[rofl] versus the..guys with swords!!!" -silence- "eh heh..our first question goes to Mr. Robinson.." Ansem clears his throat, "what is a color that looks blue?"   
  
Mr.Robinson[who is a mime] just sits there and stares at Ansem, as he begins to put himself in a..box.. Mrs.Robinson[clown] whacks her husband over the head repeatedly with her large shoe. "WE MIGHT LOSE TO THIS IDIOTS BECAUSE OF YOUUU!"  
  
Mr.Robinson drops an invisible piano on his wife and nods for Ansem to continue. Ansem nods and looks to Squall, "well..do you know?" Squall calmly says, "...blue?" Ansem grins, "yes..blue is correct!" "Now..Cloud..what is 7,873,498,274 x 3,845,739,745?"  
  
Cloud stares at Ansem blankly, and falls to the floor with swirly things in his eyes. [@.@] "Ansem looks to his bunny, "Mr.Pookie, do you know?" He puts his ear to the bunny and nods. "uh huh..THATS CORRECT! Mr.Pookie wins the entire game!!" All of the people stare at him and Sora manages to say, "but...why?"  
  
Ansem snarls and tightly hugs the bunny, "BECAUSE I SAY SO,GOD DANGIT!" Cloud sits up and looks at Ansem, "pickle." Ansem stares at CLoud who again says, "pickle!" Everyone in the building looks at Cloud as he yells out, "I WANNA BLASTED PICKLE!"   
  
~~~ At home.  
  
Squall looks at Cloud, who now says nothing more than pickle..or "i wanna pickle." Squall gets the phone and calls a doctor and blinks, "wait..I'M the mental therapist.^-^" Squall drags Cloud into his 'office' and sits him down on a stool, while Squall sits on a sofa. "Now, Cloud..tell me whats troubling you." Cloud tilts his head, "pickle la?"  
  
Squall shakes his head and pulls out a pickle, which instantly causes Cloud to drool. "DO you want the pickle CLoud, do wanna hold it? eat it?" Cloud nods rapidly. "Then ya got ta got ta try a little tenderness!" Cloud stares at Squall blankly, "gimme da pickle." "No." "GIMME DA PICKLE!" "NO!" CLoud begins to maul Squall and he eats his prized pickle, Squall lying on the floor, all bruised and bloody.  
  
Cloud smiles and skips out of the room, "Pickle! Pickle!"  
  
~~~~ on the way to Sock factory.  
  
"uugghhh..I think I'm being followed.." Riku begins to run toward the factory, as he gets hit in the back of the head with an acorn and falls to the ground. "ooowww.." Riku rubs his head and turns around to see..whatta ya know..a Squirrel..[ebil things] "O.O NOT YOU!" The squirrel grins and is now surrounded by hundreds of its squirrel companions. "Oh..my..god.." The squirrels all run after Riku, their teeth bared and their claws outstretched.  
  
Riku screams at the squirrels, "GO AWAY YOU BLASTED SPAWNS OF SATAN!!!" The squirrels run faster..the drool on their faces increasing. "bad idea..." Riku screams like a little girl and cowers underneath a park bench, now fully surrounded by blood-thirsty squirrels. "Dear God..help me.."  
  
All of the Squirrels jump at him as he whacks them with his lucky blade of grass. "BACK! back I SAY! mwaaaahahaha!" The squirrels all begin to grin at each other and move in for the kill.  
  
~~~Ansem's room.  
  
"Soon Riku will die, my precious, as you ordered." The bunny just sits there..like a stuffed animal that it is. Ansem grins and looks out his window, "Mr.Pookie..you and I shall rule this wretched planet..mwaha..mwahaha...MWAHAHAHAH!" Ansem coughs and beats on his chest, looking back at the bunny. "Mr.Pookie..Who shall be our next victim?" Mr.Pookie just sits there..still like a stuffed animal. Ansem blinks, "Aerith...Aerith is next to go..MWAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHA" As Ansem cackles insanely, Sephy opens the door.  
  
"Ansem..what are you doing?" Ansem hisses at Sephy, "I am ploting against you..now shooo!" Sephy just shakes his head, "dinner's ready.." Ansem jumps into the air and runs downstairs, as Mr.Pookie's eyes glow an eerie color.   
Short chappie...but interesting..Riku is about to be killed by killer squirrels[evil] and Ansem seems to be insane..why would an innocent bunny do anything evil? But..what is Ansem's plan? Will Riku ever get to work..and why is Cloud obsessed with pickles? Hmmm...cant tell D Anyway..review if you wanna find out ^-^ 


	3. A Girl Named Aerith

3 more reviews!!! YusH!!! tHANK YEW ALL! The Squirrel are ebil...they are the true vilains here..or..are they? mwahahahahah! well..because of being at my mom's house it may take a while to update..o.o but do not fear...there will be more! kwa kwa kwa! well, enjoy!  
  
Unknown Emotions Chappie 3. A girl named Aerith  
Sora appears in a portal somewhat like Sephy's and beats all the stupid squirrels to a little pulp. Riku shivers in fear and sucks his thumb, "mama..I want mama..." Sora shakes his head and gets knocked out by a large squirrel. This squirrel was different from the rest, it had a crown on its head..ot was the Queen..Queen Andie.  
  
Queen Andie steps on Sora's head and looks at the little heap under the park bench. She shakes her head and begins to prod him with a stick. "You worthless human..I will destory you now..or hmmm.." The squirrel looks at Riku and grins, "perhaps I shall torture you first..." Queen Andie laughs insanely and drags the sobbing Riku off toward a 'secret hideout'.  
  
~~~~AT the house  
  
Ansem eats his dinner happily and grabs his cell phone. Sephy looks at Ansem over the top of his newspaper and ducks his head whenever Ansem looks up. Sephy hears a doorbell and looks at Ansem. Ansem hisses, "I'm not gettin it..." Cloud, now wearing coconuts and a hula skirt, dances with his pickle and answers the door, "pickle hey!" O.O "you.."  
  
He sees a girl in a pink dress with her hair pulled in a braid walk in. She pulls out her camera and takes a picture of Cloud, "Teehee..that's going on the internet!" Cloud shrieks and covers his coconuts, while running upstairs. Aerith laughs insanely and walks upstairs into Ansem's room.   
  
Aerith grins as she sees the rabbit. "Sora stole you from me..but now we are reunited.." She laughs evilly as she hears footsteps coming near. "God dangit," she whispers to herself. "Time to transform...AERITH COSMIC POWWEERRR!" Aerith transforms into a strange-looking ninja and climbs onto the wall like Spider-man. Ansem walks into the room and clings to Mr.Pookie. "Heh heh..she is here..now we can summon the squirrels to dispose of her!" Ansem pulls his cell phone out of his pocket and screams like a little girl.  
  
~~~~The mental Institution  
  
Squall folds his papers on his desk and looks at his watch. "hmm..my three o'clock appointment is with someone named Michaley Robinson[mwaha..]." He leans back in his chair and thinks, "now where have I heard the name 'Robinson' before?" He hears a knock on his door and watches a clown walk in the room. "Oh..now I remember...o.o dear god..no..." Mrs.Robinson honks her nose and sits on the sofa. "Mr.Leonhart..I have a problem.."  
  
"You see, my husband never talks to me..he just drops pianos on me and puts himself in boxes AND HAS MADE MY LIFE A LIVIN HECK!!! I WANT TO KILL HIM SO DO YOU KNOW ANYBODY GOOD?" Squall blinks and shrugs. Mrs.Robinson pulls her hair out and makes a balloon gun and puts it to Squall's head, "I'm warnin you, buddy...DON'T MAKE ME!!!!!" squall sighs and sits Mrs.Robinson back down and talks to her in a soft voice, "Mrs.Robinson..you have gone through alot..and I understand that..really I do..put killing him wont help..well it will..but that's not the point!"  
  
Mrs.Robinson strangles Squall and screams at him, "YOU ARE A QUACK!" Squall begins to quack like a duck and swims in a pond by his desk. Mrs.Robinson blinks and begins to run in circles. "YOU IDIOT!! I WANT YOU TO KILL HIM!" Squall blinks and grins, "how much willya pay me?" Mrs.Robinson screams, "NOTHING!!" Squall grins, "well then you must go now.." Mrs.Robinson blinks, "but I just payed $500 dollars to get in here..."   
  
Squall puts on a pair of sunglasses and pulls a neuralizer[thingy from men in black] and pushes the button. [FLASH!] "You are a dog from downtown..you love cats..you live in a box..you will never speak to me again." Mrs.Robinson gets on all fours and jumps out of the window, barking like a dog.  
  
~~~~~Squirrel Hideout  
  
Queen Andie laughs insanely as she looks at Riku, now chained to a tree. "Well..what do you have to say,human? TELL ME THE WHERABOUTS OF LESLIE!"[me..i'm her arch nemesis..] Riku spits on Andie, "I'll never tell you where she is!!!!" Andie grins, her teeth showing.[similar to '=B'] "SLAVES!! BRING ME...'IT'!!" A dozen human slaves come and bring Andie a box, a glowing..sparkly box. As Andie opens it, a strange angelic sound is heard, followed by a 'dun dun dun'. Andie cackles and pulls it out--a feather!! She looks to Riku evilly and begins to tickle him without mercy. Riku laughs uncontrollably and kicks around, "MAKE IT STOOPPP!!! PLEASE..MAKE IT STOPP!!" Andie grins and prods him with a pitchfork, "not until you tell me where Leslie is.." Riku sighs and says, "she's probably at her house..I don't know.." Andie snaps her paws and the slaves run off to my house. "Riku..you shall be rewarded for your loyalty..."   
  
Andie slaps Riku and prods him with the pitchfork. "The squirrels will take over..and when we do..all you slimy humans will become our slaves..and only one person stands in our way..that is Leslie and her army she has been creating..she WILL be stopped..regardless of any friendship we may have."   
  
~~~~Ansem's room  
  
"Mr.Pookie," Ansem whispers, "what do you mean, you have abandoned me?" The bunny glares at Ansem, "you are with the squirrels...I cannot help someone as foolish as you." Aerith shoots a web at Ansem and ties him to the wall. Ansem gasps, "w-who are you?" Aerith grins, "I'm your friendly neighborhood squirrel terminator." Aerith takes Mr.Pookie and glances back at Ansem, "I know that you have feelings for this rabbit...maybe unknown emotions even to you..but they are still unknown emotions..and working alongside the squirrels will only give you a fast death."  
  
Aerith shoots a web and swings out of the window, with Mr.Pookie in her arms. "Yes..a beautiful escape speech!" As Aerith says this, she slams face-first into a wall. "Ow..that was not foreseen...that was not foreseen..."   
  
~~~~The sock factory  
  
"Where is that bum, Riku? We have a load of 'Hanes her way' to be shipped out to Wal-Mart.."   
  
~~~~My Room  
  
As I type, I hear footsteps upstairs and see a dozen human slaves coming at me. Hmm..they have torches and pitchforks..what do they want? I'm in the middle of a story here! GRRR! time to get my ol' trusty fryin' pan!! I beat them all over the head with my fryin' pan and shake my fist at the sky, "GOD DANGIT ANDIE!!! I'M TRYING TO WRITE A STORY HERE! GEEZ! COULDN'T YOU JUST WAIT A LITTLE WHILE BEFORE YOU SEND A COUPLE OF BOZOS AFTER ME?  
  
I sit back in my chair and type the story some more..well..I guess this is the end of this chappie..^^ i hope you enjoyed this, I know it's not as funny, but I have to goto the doctor tomorrow..I couldn't think of much..there will be more soon..and this chappie ish dedicated to Andie..e.e; YA HAPPY ANDIE? HUH? WELL NEXT TIME IF YOU SEND SOME SLAVES TO GET ME THERE WILL BE NOOO MORE CHAPPIES WITH YOU IN EM GOT IT?!?!?! Good..well I'll try to update soon..^-^ reviews would be nice..-whimpers and glares at Andie more- 


	4. Where is Mr Pookie?

Unknown Emotions  
  
Chappie 4: Where is Mr.Pookie?  
  
Bleh...im really sorreh people..but I've had a serious case of writer's block lately...forgive? ;.; Anywho, thanks for all the great comments..keep them comin'!  
  
Riku: yew are insane...  
  
meh: I knuuu!! ^_^   
  
Well..here I am..sitting in my bedroom all alone...alone...I'm all alone..there's no one here beside me....me problems have all gone....so ppl please don't bite meeee..  
  
Cloud yells, "stop singing!!! You are giving me a headache! I am concentrating on my telepathy." ((note: cloud has been desperately trying to pick a pickle off of the table using his mind..))  
  
Squall stares at Cloud, "you idiot..you will never learn telemathy. You can't even add 145,837,289 to 32,482,748,923. Cloud's brow raises, "it's telePATHY..not MATHy..sheesh.."  
  
Riku yells out, "Moogles!" ((**note: Riku had a taste of Chinese water torture...you do the math..)) Everyone stares at RIku, who keeps ranting and running into walls. Cloud concentrates and closes his eyes.  
  
Sephiroth whispers to Cloud, "use the force.." Cloud jumps in the air and weilds his pickle like a lightsaber, "yes, master." Sephiroth grins, "come, young Padawan, I have much to teach you." Cloud and Sephy hop downstairs, arm in arm.  
  
Squall blinks and rubs his eyes, "I need to seek serious therapy." Riku pounces on Squall and mauls him, yelling, "die, puny mortal!" Squall gags and chokes, his flesh being torn apart by an insane Riku. Riku, leaves Squall on the ground, lifeless, and scurries off elsewhere.  
  
Ansem slinks down the stairs and looks at the lifeless and torn apart Squall. Ansem then steps over Squall's body and mutters, "ew" repeatedly. Ansem mutters to himself, "I will get that girl..she stole my Pookie..she will DIE!" Little did Ansem know, that two evil eyes were watching him from atop the refridgerator.  
  
Elsewhere, Aerith walks along a street, flowers in her hands. She steps on a shadowy creature, with beady yellow eyes and two antennas on its head (**note: shadow heartless are cute!)). Aerith looks down at the creature and picks it up, "ooohhh! how cute???!!!" Aerith hugs the heartless to death and it screams as it dissapears in a big 'poof'.  
  
Aerith shrugs, "oh well." Aerith walks into her apartment and walks to her room, where a stuffed bunny waits for her. "Mr.Pookie..I bow before you,master." Aerith bows to the rabbit as it speaks in a squeaky voice, "yes...I am your master...bow to me...now destroy the enemy...all of them!!"  
  
Aerith nods, "whatever you wish,master." As Aerith prepares to jump out the window, Ansem breaks in and screams,"I found you! GImme back my Pookie!!!" Aerith gives Ansem a clock, "count how many times it ticks." Ansem jumps in joy, "okay! How fun!!!" Aerith falls out the window and shoots her webs toward her destination...my house o_o  
  
Back at the house, Sephy prods Squall with a stick, "I think he's dead..mwuahaha..lets disect him." Cloud shrieks like a girl, "no way! that's like, gross!" Sephy looks at Cloud, "are you ready for the trials?" Cloud nods, "I am ready, master."   
  
Riku climbs onto a lamp and looks at Squall's dead body. "meat...meat...MEATTT!!!" Riku pounces onto Squall and..miraculously..Squall screams..obviously he is not dead.. Squall runs for his life with Riku behind, screaming, "MEEEAAATTT!!"   
  
Mr.Pookie glances to Ansem, "my pet...what are you doing?" Ansem blinks,"789...790..791...79--wha?" Mr.Pookie grins, "all of your friends will die...they are allies to the squirrels..so they must all perish...world domination is MINE!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Ansem hugs the bunny, "master...I love you." The bunny gags and screams, "NoOO!"  
  
At the Town Hall, Sephy and CLoud appear before the great Judge Yoda. Sephy bows his head, "master..my Padawan is ready for the trials." Judge Yoda nods and turns to Cloud, "young Padawan...much fear I see in you....much fear indeed.." Cloud dances and crosses his legs, "Yeah...FEAR OF WETTING MYSELF!" Everyone in the courtroom gasps and CLoud rushes to the restroom.  
  
15 minutes later, Cloud bows before JUdge Yoda,"okay old guy, what were yah sayin about me?" Yoda throws a sticks at Cloud's head,"you are no Jedi...you are no sith..you are....IDIOT! The jury nods and votes the defendant guilty as charged. "Cloud....for not passing the trials...you are ranked as an idiot...you will never be a Jedi..and pretty girl you will not get. Now go."  
  
CLoud runs out of the room crying, "WAAAAHHHHHH SQUALLY!!!!" Yet, when Cloud arrives at the house, he sees Squall sitting on a plate with an apple in his mouth, Riku dancing around him muttering something weird.. Cloud and Sephy look at each other and run into the walls, screaming. Squall somehow gets free of the plate, and hits Riku in the head with the apple.   
  
When Squall arrives in Ansem's rom for refuge, he sees Ansem there, stroking the rabbit. "get out of here, puny mortal." Squall blinks and holds Ansem above the window, "what's 'ha' spelled backwards?" Ansem thinks, "um.." Squall lets go. Ansem screams, "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh!" Squall nods, "exactly." He watches as Ansem falls onto MY windowsil and climbs into MY room.  
  
I turn around from the computer and glare at my intruder. "What are YOU doing HERE? My room is OFF LIMITS,buddy." Ansem hisses and cluthces the rabbit. o_o "Boy...did you just HISS at ME? Ohhh..that's it..you've done it now...this is war..." o_o Ansem throws the rabbit at my head..and hits me in the eye, screaming, "NOOOO! My precious! give the Precious back!!!"  
  
I pick up the pretty rabbit and huggle it, "AWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! CUTTTEEE!!" ^-^ Ansem reaches for the rabbit, and I conk him on the head with my foot. "Bad boy...MY bunny...bow to it." o_o Ansem growls. "NOOOWWW!" ANsem bows and touches my keyboard. 'dkjshergheg' O_O "omg...I'm gonna like...kill you now...Nobody...I mean NOBODY touches my keyboard...except me...o-o Got that?"  
  
Ansem touches the keyboard again 'rgegerheheheth' O-O "ANSEEEMMM! you just ruined the story!! URRGGGHHH!" I reach into my closet for my sledgehammer,and repeatedly beat ANsem with it. Ansem hisses and bites me. HE BIT ME. I reach into my closet and pull out a long sword that is about 12 feet long. Ansem blinks, "that's Sephy's sword.." "mhm...you bet it is..hehehehehe."  
  
I raise my sword and....  
  
~~*~~~~~*~~some of the scenes in this particular part may disturb and make the reader become insane and/or violent(er). SO, you will just read what we say...no more than that o_o~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"DIe!!! DIE!!!!!!!!" "ohhh!!! owwwwww MY ARM!" "MWAAAHAHAHAA HAIL MR.POOKIE!!!" "NOOOOO..NOOOOOO!!!AHHHHHH! CRIKEY ME ARM...!" "DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE" "TAKE THAT! anD THAT!" I'LL TEACH YEW TO TOUCH MY KEYBOARD!" "SOME OF THIS..AND SOME OF THAT..MWAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAAHA DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "NNOOOOOO PLEASEEEEE...SPAREEEE MEEE...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"  
  
~~~~~MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'M SO EVIL! MWAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!! NEVER EVER TOUCH MY KEYBOARD!!! MEEEP! -kicks ANsem- take that! o.- o.o oh. erm..there's only one chappie left...the final battle..I'll try to write this one ASAP! OKay? I hope you people like this one better than the last chappie...oooooh..and for all you Ansem fans...heh...o.o He touched mah keyboard! What was I supposed to do? GIggle and pet him like a slave?  
  
wait....now there's an idea 3 


	5. The Final Battle

Hiii!!! I'm finally adding a new chappie!! Thanks for all the reviews! ^_^ And Mr.Pookie will reveal his true purpose...sorry if there isn't much funnyness in this one...but I want to end it with all questions answered...Enjoy! Oh! I almost forgot! Squirrels are furry-tailed tree rats! Sorry Luna..I forgot o.o -beats self with stick-  
  
Unknown Emotions  
  
Chappie 5: The Final Battle  
  
The Kitchen:  
  
Squall sighs in the kitchen as he stares at the ceiling. "I can't believe that they actually fired ME..of all people...hmpf!" Squall gets up and storms out the door. "I'm going to give that Robinson guy a piece of my mind.." (What's left of it, anyway)  
  
The Basement (aka training thingy):  
  
Cloud concentrates on a ball and tries to make it float, but instead he accidentally whacks Sephiroth with it..whoops..  
  
"I'll never understand how to do this, master." Yet, Sephiroth, ignoring Cloud, dances around declaring that he is the 'heir of the planet' and yells 'fear me puny mortals!'  
  
Squirrel HQ:  
  
A squirrel with a crown atop her head snarls at the recent events. "Grrr..these pesky humans must be desposed of...who can we send to do the job?" A young girl, about the age of 14, with red short hair, emerges from the darkness and approaches the queen. "Your Highness..I will destroy the humans." The Queen grins and nods to her new slave. "The humans will never suspect you, my pet."   
  
She replies with a nod, "I suppose that they won't.." The Queen gives the girl a glare. "Go..now..I want them all gone by tonight...and those bunnies too...but bring me Mr.Pookie..I must take care of him myself..." She laughs an insane and evil laugh, as her 'pet' goes off to find our 'heroes'.  
  
Ansem's Lair:  
  
"Mwahahaha!! Darkness conquers all!!" Ansem chuckles at his statement and strokes Mr.Pookie. "My lord..what shall we do next? World domination takes patience amd planning nowadays..there's always a hero to mess up our plans." Mr. Pookie once again remained silent and mysterious, as usual. Ansem simply shook his head and sighed, "Mr.Pookie..you are my most precious creation..yet, in many ways you are not."  
  
Mr.Pookie's eyes glow red as he glares at Ansem, "you are a mortal...beware." Ansem chuckled at this warning and replied, "now, now my pet...be nice to your creator." Mr.Pookie glared at Ansem once more. "Too sure of themselves, humans are. Such a pitiful race."  
  
Ansem looked at Mr.Pookie, "you be quiet!" Mr.Pookie grinned and replied, "she should be here any minute.."  
  
At that moment, Aerith appeared in Ansem's lair."Aha! Ansem..how nice to see you in our lair." Ansem's happy face turned to a frown, "our?!?!" Aerith grinned and replied, "no..this is no longer your lair..it belongs to me and my master, be gone, pest." Aerith smiled as Ansem was engulfed by flames, and seconds later, was on the floor in ashes. "Let that be a warning to those who get in our way."  
  
Bunny HQ:  
  
A bunny with a crown atop her head (I am the Queen! Yupyup) sighs as one of the bunnies informs her of an attack. "Your Highness! The kingdom is being attacked! Everyone is being slaughtered by the squirrels!" The Queen frowned and sighed, "our armies have fallen..our guards killed..our people slaughtered..our Kingdom in ruin. I fear there is nothing we can do,except hope." The Queen glanced to the messenger. "Is this cruel fate a fair one? Why should the bunies be punished. For years, we have been kind to all. The squirrels try to end our empire..but why? What motives against us do the squirrels have?" The Queen sighs and shakes her head. "I guess our prosperity was to end someday, but with all this death and detruction?"  
  
The messenger watched the Queen in horror, "you mean..you will do nothing to save us?" The Queen closed her eyes for a moment. "This was destined to happen..the war against the squirrels has lasted for an eternity..just when we reach a period of peace and prosperity...it is destroyed by the squirrels. Such a cruel fate, indeed. Well..I will do what I can. Farewell."  
  
The Queen rose from her throne to meet the squirrels. With all her power, she (I) tried her best to stop the squirrels, but to no avail. A squirrel came from behind the Queen and litterally stabbed her in the back. The Queen fell to the ground and stared to the sky. "It seems my power was not enough to save them..I am truly sorry for those I have let down..forgive me..I was too weak to save my Kingdom..please..I ask of you..do not forget me. Remember the Queen, and how she died to save the ones she loved." The Queen fell to the ground, and the squirrels rejoiced at her death, all except the Squirrel Queen, who had lost something she could not replace, her friend.  
  
Suddenly, everyone--our heroes, the bunnies, the duckies, and the villains, all appeared to the End of the World.  
  
End of the World:  
  
Sora rubs his head, "hey where are we?" Riku moans, "I hurt my foot.." Suddenly, Sora heard someone call him a lazy bum. That had to be Kairi. Was it? Sora turned around and saw Kairi, who had been missing for some time now. "Kairi, have you been here all this time?" Kairi shrugged, "maybe." Riku looked at Kairi. "Sora..there's something wrong with her--she's different."  
  
Before anyone could speak, Mr.Pookie revealed himself. "Hello my slaves. It is time I tell you what you want to know." Aerith whispers, "Book of Evil, rule number 5, always tell the enemy your secret plan before doing it..it's tradition." Everyone nodded in agreement. Mr.Pookie cleared his throat. "Ehem..well..I plan to--" Sephiroth stands up and yells out, "don't try to crush yourself with a meteor! That's my plan!" Mr.Pookie nodded to Aerith and she did the same thing to Sephy as she did to Ansem earlier. Everyone stared in amazement and gulped.   
  
Mr.Pookie continues, "I plan to take over the earth by using my large armies to defeat the governments and leaders an make them obey me. Yes, how do I do it, you ask? Well..I just get some strong heroes *glances at the boys* to become my slaves and become the army. Also, I'll use the squirrel and bunny armies, as well as the ducky army." Mr.Pookie grins and laughs. "I am not truly a rabbit, as you might have already gathered. Rabbits are pure creatures of the light. I am of darkness."  
  
He pauses to laugh once more. "I will also make my slave, Ansem, when i ressurect him, create millions of heartless to take over the vast armies of the world. Nothing can stop me. Not even you." He glances to Sora and grins. "I myself, am a heartless. I was created by Ansem, yes, but I am different than the rest. I was created by the light in people's hearts. not the darkness within them. My intelligence and purity gives me power over that fool, Ansem. I can make anyone my slave. Anyone I wish."  
  
Mr.Pookie glances at everyone. "Well...I hope you are prepared...to become my slaves, or die fighting me." He grins and floats in the air.  
  
"The Final Battle begins."  
  
Author's Notes:  
  
um...sorry..I thought I was going to end it..but..I like it this way.Should I make a sequel to this story with a new series of chapters...or should I just do one more chapter and call it quits? -shrug- I really like this one..it took me an hour x_x it's probably short..I'm sorry if it is.and I'm also sorry for the lack of humor..forgive me? I just had to get to the point of my story. I'm sorry if I dissapointed anyone. Reviews are always nice yah know ^~  
  
Well...it seems that I am also dead...o.0 wow..I died being noble! heh..oh and one more thing...I hate squirrels!!! o_o this story is touching ;-; Anyway, I plan on writing the sequel or next chappie, depending on what you people say. ^-^ bye for now! 


	6. Evil reveals it's true form

Unknown Emotions   
  
Chappie 6: Evil reveals its true form  
  
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Hey all! Guess what..I'm alive again..thankehs Luna..x3 ^_^ This is the FINAL chappie of this...thing..it will beh humor-ified..seeing as less people liked the last one..Sorry I've taken so long, but my sister needed help with her story n_n; ANywho..after this, I will be doing an InuYasha romance story..so..hehe..-nod-  
  
Well, enough of me, time for the end..don't forget to review! ^_^  
  
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Everyone stared at Ansem and Aerith in disbelief. Ansem was their friend now, why would he do such a thing? Wait..it wasn't Ansem's doing-- it was Pookie. Mr.Pookie! Everyone glared at Mr.Pookie with hunger in their eyes.  
  
Cloud grinned and poked the rabbit. "Ohh...Pookie looks tasty.." He pulled out his sword and sliced Mr.Pookie's head off. Everyone else looked away, disgusted. Leon simply giggled and took notes on Cloud's behavior. After all, it was his job to keep track of Cloud's actions, because he is a valued customer.  
  
Mr.Pookie fell over, to reveal that it wasn't a stuffed rabbit, it was someone in a costume! Everyone gasped at who was revealed in the bunny suit.  
  
---Flashback----  
  
random squirrel: You know..if you agree to this, we will give you 100 pounds of SuGaR.  
  
anonymous voice: wheeee!! I like trains!  
  
squirrel: Mwaha..we will soon take over..soon...  
  
---end flashback---  
  
Kairi grinned and watched everyone. "So..you figured it out, did you? Thought you were soo smart. Well, you still have me to deal with.   
  
Sora turned and looked at Kairi, "what are you talking about!?" Kairi grinned and pulled a pitchfork from behind her back. "What am I talking about?" She raised the weapon above her head, the sharp edge pointing at Sora. "oh, Sora. You understand nothing." Everyone gasped and pointed at Kairi. Leon blinked, "you don't see that everyday.."  
  
Cloud grinned and tried to hold back his laughter. "Hey guys...guess what? ..It's..Selphie.." Selphie hissed like a snake, foam forming on her mouth. "I WAS FRAMED I TELLYA!" She yelped and twitched, staring at Kairi. "What did they -twitch- offer you?" Kairi blinked and laughed out loud. "They offered me a free laugh at Sora!" -she pointed at Sora and bursted out in laughter. "YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT!" She rolled on the floor laughing.  
  
Sora's face turned red and his hand formed into a fist. "KAIRI! I'LL GET YOU!" He ran after Kairi in circles, his keyblade raised high above his head.  
  
Everyone else also laughed. "You are so dumb Sora!" Sora stopped and looked at them in surprise. "Huh?!" They all giggled, "We were all in on it...except Ansem...he's just weird." Sora's eye twitched. "Oh..so you guys all wanted a laugh at ol' Sora? Well guess what? I'LL KILL YOU ALL!" Sora violently attacked everyone and I cannot give details because I am totally against violence and things like that.  
  
Selphie blinked. "I did it for the SuGaR." Everyone blinked and stared blankly at Selphie as she once more twitched. "100 pounds..that's how much they gave me..TO KILL YOU GUYS!" She laughed insanely and twitched. "Mwah..mwah..mwahahahahahaha! YOU WILL ALL DIE! I WILL KILL YOU ALL...FOR THE SuGaR!!! Wait..they are already dead...except you, Sora.." She laughed insanely and attacked Sora with her..uhh..hands o doom!   
  
"MWAHAHAHAH! DIE SORA!! DIE DIE DIE DIE!" Sora screamed like a little girl and ran in circles. "GREAT! Selphie's gonna kill me...oh well..getting killed by an insane girl on a sugar high won't be SOO bad...will it?" Selphie grinned, "you shall soon find out, Bob." "Um..Selphie..I'm not Bob...I'm Sora..." Selphie blinked and read a piece of paper. "Well whaddaya know? Your name IS Sora..will wonders never cease?" Sora slapped his forehead, "Oh, god..just kill me now.." Selphie cackled, "GLADLY!" Selphie err..killed Sora, and walked toward squirrel HQ.  
  
"lalalalala SuGaR for meeee...lalalaaaa!" She giggled insanely and skipped along a street, near the sock factory.   
  
Sock manufactuer guy: "I guess that Riku guy isn't comin.."  
  
other sock guy: "Guess not...kids these days...lazy punks."  
  
Selphie cackled and looked at the two guys and mauled them, afterwards she stole some socks. "OOOOH! PINK!" She grinned and put the socks on her head. "SPIFFY!" She continued to wlak down the street, mauling people and stealing their objects. What fun.  
  
Wakka poked at Selphie and saluted her. "The queen is wondering where you are. Did you complete the mission?" Selphie blinked, "Yush I did..." Wakka tilted his head, "shall I take the bodies?" Selphie shook her head and grinned, a tooth showing like a fang. "No, that won't be necessary...I ate them." Wakka stared at Selphie blankly. "Girl, get help..." Selphie giggled, "I ate my psychiatrist, too!" Wakka was already 50 feet away from Selphie before she said that, though. He was rather disturbed..  
  
"Hmm..I better go see the queen then..." She makes a victory sign and flies off.  
  
ooo...watch Selphie fly! -theme music plays- Selphie..the Selphienator...dun dun duunnn..  
  
----20 minutes of screaming and bloodshed later---  
  
"  
  
Selphie: "Okay..I killed and ate them..can I have my -twitch- SuGaR now?" -twitch-  
  
Tidus: "Wow, Selphie..you ATE them, too? Can you teach me how to be evil like you?" He bows to Selphie. "Please?"  
  
Selphie: "OOOOOKKKAAYY! I will teach you the art of SuGaR!!"  
  
Squirrel: "You did well...now the world will be ours.." she reveals a truck full of SuGaR and hands a key to Selphie. "Enjoy, my pet."  
  
Selphie: "YAAAAYYYYYY!!!" She twitches and jumps into the truck, eating all the SuGaR. "I LIKE TRAINS! I LIKE TRAINS! I LIKE TRAINS! I LIKE TRAINS! I LIKE TRAINS! I LIKE TRAINS! I LIKE TRAINS! I LIKE TRAINS! I LIKE TRAINS! I LIKE TRAINS! I LIKE TRAINS! I LIKE TRAINS! I LIKE TRAINS! I LIKE TRAINS! MWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" She twitches and bounces off the walls.  
  
Tidus: He sighs dreamily. "She's my villain."  
  
----Fin.----  
  
xD well..that was short..oh well..Selphie was the evil mastermind known to the world as Pookie...weird way of ending it, huh? Well..for once, the good-guys didn't realy win. Only if you consider squirrels good...then I'll getcha..anyway, if you liked my story, check out my sister's..she's DisturbedDucky! ^_^ So....Review...please? o-O 


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